I was perusing news articles today, and I came across a headline that read President-Elect Biden controversial pick for Assistant Health Secretary. It turns out, he nominated Rachel Levine, a transgendered woman, to the position. Under normal circumstances, we’d hear support to some degree, and usually when there is dissent, it’s because of the person’s political past or perhaps issues with their credentials. I dropped down to the comments to find so many disparaging comments from people about this person not because she isn’t qualified, but only because she is transgendered. That was the ONLY reason. It was in that moment, I felt some anger because I was triggered.

I spent the first 25 or so years of my life hiding that I was gay. I felt ashamed of it. I hated it, and many times I’d prayed to God to take me home because of it. I stand today prouder than I have ever been about who I am. I embrace, I live it, and I don’t let anyone tell me otherwise. The story is the same for many others who have walked a similar path. My husband would say, “I had to fight to be where I am today,” referring to his own struggles with self-identity and the myriad of people who wanted to shun him for it.

I think it’s a sad thing to dishonor someone’s accomplishments and immediately discount their abilities due to their sexuality and gender expression. Are we that primitive?

There are so many LGBTQ+ people coming to my mind right now who are awesome at what they do and the things they have accomplished with their lives. And, what’s sad is some of these are afraid to stand in their truth for the very reason I’m sounding off in this note. I know the struggle, and while I hope that one day they can find their strength to face the attacks, I most certainly understand the fear. Some of these people are leaders of businesses, teachers, doctors, lawyers, non-profit leaders, husbands, wives, you name it, it’s them. Even myself, a prolific writer, minister, and leader of people who has to learn to stand up unapologetically in his truth.

I remember a time when the church I served in as a prophet had a guest speaker, and that speaker did not show up. The reason was because my pastor and spiritual mom allowed me to flourish in my gift regardless of whether I was gay or not. He could not handle that, and he boycotted the service. He stood us up and we had to scramble to get someone to speak.

I always said to myself when I was actively ministering that I would sit down before I stood up and pretended to be someone I am not. I actually still sat down because the church at large is not ready for someone who is unapologetic about being LGBTQ+.

I have always lived my truth, whether it made me uncomfortable or not. And most times, it made me very uncomfortable. Most times it hurt, most times it made me depressed. I often say, gay people have to come out over and over and over again. The last time, which was recent, I was asked why didn’t I correct someone who assumed I was married to a wife. My response was, “You get tired of coming out and correcting people’s assumptions. It’s easier on my emotions to let it ride sometimes.”

Society continues to show us that it’s not LGBTQ+ people who have the problem. It’s those who are uncomfortable with themselves, so much that they bash and spew hate speech to others. They have the problem. No one is trying to push anything down your throat. We just want to exist out loud the same way you do.  I am not responsible for your discomfort.

We want to exist from day to day without being denied our humanity. So if you’re reading this and you cannot celebrate Ms Rachel for her appointment, or even celebrate me for my accomplishments without putting an asterisk next to it because we’re different, click off and f— off.