Hi Jay,
As we all know, Christmas is right around the corner. I have two kids, not too young, 7 and 10. I lost my job earlier this year and I am just now getting back on my feet but the months of unemployment has really placed my finances in a tight place. My kids never want for anything. They have always had good Christmases. I’m afraid this year Santa can’t deliver and that I won’t be able to splurge on them like I used to. It makes me hurt for them because I know that they will be disappointed. Although, I know the real meaning of Christmas, kids may not. How do I make Christmas feel special to them this year even though I won’t be able to give them what they are accustomed to concerning gifts?
~Wishing for A Merry Christmas
Dear Wishing,
I don’t have kids but I can imagine the love that is there for a mother and her children – or a father and his children. I can imagine that a parent wants to do all that they can to make their children happy. You have an obligation to make your kids feel loved and secure. But, part of that love and security comes discipline and accountability. You are accountable for them in every way; you are accountable for their security. I am sure you know this because it sounds like you have made your priorities and as a result, you cannot give your kids gifts for Christmas.
This would be a perfect time for you to become creative about letting your kids truly understand what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. Take them to a soup kitchen or allow them to see where there are other kids who may not be as fortunate. Kids are very smart. I heard someone say once that they are “little adults”. Sometimes we don’t have to dumb things down for them. They comprehend some things perfectly well. Your kids have not been absent during your unemployment. Perhaps you should be a little forthcoming with them about how things are.
There is a lesson for you and your kids to learn in all of this. The lesson for you is that you won’t always be able to supply the need that you think exist. It is in those moments that you let go and let God carry you through. Christmas will come and go but your kids will still be with you if God so wills it to be. This season is about sharing and caring and appreciating what you have in those who are truly there for you. Let this be an opportunity to reconnect with that and not be affected by the belief that Santa can’t deliver this year.
What I love about this article is that you challenged the parent to be honest and forth coming with her children. While just about every parent wants to splurg on their children, the reality is that it’s not always possible because of bills and other financial obligations. I feel for this parent and really any parent going through a similar situation. Life can be tough. What I have learned is that perception is key. Your advice challenges the parent to change his or her perception about not being able to purchase gifts, and to change it into an opportunity to do some positive work such as helping the less fortunate. Great article. ????????????????
I agree that the perception of Christmas has to change in order for someone to not feel bad about not being able to give gifts. The perception here definitely will need to change considering she consider a good Christmas one where gifts are involved.