Life is precious, but it is also hard. Anyone who tells you differently doesn’t have life. They have an illusion or a silver spoon. No one is prepared for life, and no one told me about life.
No one is equipped to tell you about life. They can warn you of what may happen, but life is a beast all on its own and it is like an unpredictable roller coaster. So hold your seat and cover your head.
I was a sheltered kid. My parents were not particularly strict, but they demanded respect and responsibility. I stayed to myself mostly as a kid. That was mostly because I was unhappy with my sexuality.
Most kids have it rough going through their adolescent years. They are super self-conscious of themselves, and they are in much need of encouragement and affirmation from several places. This is not to say I feel like I was not affirmed as a kid. I often think back on the loving childhood I did have because of my large family.
However, I entered adulthood navigating an unbeaten path in dense woods like everyone else. No one, no matter how together their upbringing, is prepared to tackle the ups and downs that life can bring.
I’m not middle-aged quite yet, but so far, these are the 5 things no one told me about life.
Be a Visionary and Take Risks
Oh boy! One of my biggest regrets coming into adulthood is not going far away for college. I only became a risk-tasker in my late 20s. Before then, I did not take any risks, and I have discovered it was because of my low self-confidence at the time. I had a limited outlook on life. The guy I know today would have gone to Howard University for Communications and then after that, studied law. I would have pledged greek life. (Still can – thinking on becoming a Sigma)
I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone at 18 years old. When taking a risk, what is the worst that can happen other than making a mistake and learning from the mistake? This is why taking risks is such a valuable life lesson. Life is full of learning. This is how wisdom comes. If you are not learning life, life will learn you and overpower you.
Taking risks allows you to identify the things you like and do not like. Keep in mind that you should take calculated risks. This means be aware of the costs, and make an informed decision about the risks you are willing to take.
Don’t Settle and Know Why
It is okay to know what you want and not settle for it. There is a delicate balance between learning what you like and knowing what you like. In early adult life, you don’t know much about what you like. Choosing not to settle can be hard to do when you don’t know what you like.
Be cognizant of everything and don’t get lost in relationships that no longer serve you or on jobs that you hate. One of the best things I begin to learn after I turned 30 is that I don’t view life as if I am a baby boomer. Staying on a job I hate for years at a time is not something I want to do.
Do not settle, but be shrewd and take advantage of opportunities. If you know what you want out of life and not settle for anything less, then you will be much happier.
Speak Up and Talk Back
Many people do not like a person who is so sure of themselves that they are willing to speak truths that no one else is willing to speak. There is nothing wrong with being vocal. I have a weird personality when it comes to this. It is easy for me to speak up when I have to. I have learned it is an asset to have in life, but I am quite reserved and quiet overall. I’ve learned to choose my battles when it involves speaking up.
We live in a world where everyone is trying to change your mind about something. Consider the million-dollar advertising budgets of large corporations. Likewise, everyday people that are around you will speak for you, think for you, and tell you how to process your feelings if you do not learn to speak up and talk back.
You are enough
Every day we see images around us that tell us that we are not enough. They tell us what we should drive to be cool. They tell us what we should not eat to have the perfect body. We are always shown what not to be and what we should be.
This makes you feel like you are not enough. Self-confidence will make life a little easier for you. You will be able to navigate relationships better when you feel that you are enough. You will not feel offended or rejected if someone else determines they are not into you.
Love
I have a profound belief that the reason any of us are here is for love. We are to learn to love ourselves and then share that love with the world around us. I am not exactly sure if this is a life lesson that can be taught or if we are just born with this knowledge already.
We spend our journey trying to find what love means to us, but what I have learned is that it starts within. Oh boy, if I knew how much I had the capacity to love myself the way I do now, there are a lot of experiences I could have chosen not to experience.
I think this one is all-encompassing. If you learn to love yourself, then you will always know that you are enough. You will always speak up for yourself. You will never settle, and you will take calculated risks if you knew they meant bringing you closer to your soul’s purpose.